Learning to Listen

I have been reading a couple of books on listening. One is Soultalk by Larry Crabb and the other one is Can you Hear Me Now by Dallas Demmitt. Both are very good and enlightening. I have always viewed myself as a good listener but I have come to think differently. As I read these books that describe listening and having life giving conversations, I find myself not really knowing too much. For me, when I engage in conversation with people, I listen to what they say, but then I usually try and solve their problem or find a way to relate to them. I have come to discover that I do this because it is selfish. Giving advice is not a bad thing or trying to relate it to yourself is not bad either, but when that becomes the norm in your conversation, I realize for myself, it is selfish. 

The conversations that these books describes take work. It take really listening and and engaging with the person you are in front of. For me, it means turning off my cell phone and focusing on the person. I have not finished SoulTalk, but from what I have read, I love it. It talks about thinking beneath what is being said. Not trying to solve the persons problems but loving them and most importantly, listening to the Holy Spirit. I want to give the people I meet with more of Jesus, not more of Melody. In order to be able to hear the Spirit, it means that I have to be spending time with God. I have to be aware of what Gods heart is for me personally as well as the person I am meeting with. It take intentionality. 

I have found in general that there is usually a lot more to what people are saying than what they say at first. I am talking about the harder, deep, life conversations that people have. When we start sharing, we don't always know what is going on in our heart ourselves, so it makes it difficult to share with others. But the thing is, I have found that we want to know, we want to be able to describe what is going on in our life. I know I do. I know that it takes me a while to get there. It takes a person being patient to listen, to create an environment that is safe and welcomingr. It takes work and takes time. My husband is a very good listener, he is the kind that gives life to people when you talk to him. He never makes it about himself and he usually is pretty good about not trying to solve the problem. 

I am still learning about what it looks like to listen and listen well. I want to be a part of conversations that brings Jesus to people. I know that it will take practice. I know that it requires hard work. But I also know that this kind of listening can bring hope to hurting people. It can introduce them to a God who loves them and cares about them. I am part of the body of Christ and I can be an extension of Gods love by listening to those in front of me, not making it about me or trying to solve their problems. I don't want to run away if the problem seems to big or too difficult. I want to sit in the mess of this life that we have at times. I want to be anchored in Christ and who he says that I am, that I don't look for others and conversation to validate me. I want them to know that there is God who is with them! I want to be used by God!

Persistence

This week was my turn to speak at our weekly Cru meeting. We have been going through parables so I decided that I would talk about the persistent widow. I have always been a pretty persistent person so I thought this would be easy to relate to. Growing up I would ask and ask again for things. When I really wanted something and set my mind to it, I would not give up. This can be a good quality at times but also obnoxious to those on the other end.

As I read this parable and prepared for it, it was pretty straightforward. Jesus is encouraging the disciples to persist in their prayers, to not lose heart. He shares the story of the persistent widow and the unjust judge. You can find it in Luke 18. He explains that if the unjust judge who didn’t care for people or God, would give justice to the widow, how much more will our heavenly father who loves us, give us justice. It is an encouragement to persist in our prayers, to keep coming before God and asking him for things.

I was thinking about the application for it and it struck me that as much as a persistent person I am, when it comes to praying for other people and other things, I lack that persistence. I am very persistent when it comes to my own issues but for some reason I lack it for others. It was like this light bulb went off in my head, not one that I really liked but good to know. Don’t get me wrong; I do pray for others, I am just not persistent in my prayers for them mostly because I forget. I get consumed in my own world and my own wants. This is something that I want to change. I want to be a person that prays consistently for others. I don’t want to skip through life and be consumed with own little world but to be consumed with others.

I am so glad that I serve a God who is gracious to help me do this. I know left to my own strength I will fail. In my own strength, I will stay consumed with self but through God’s strength I can begin to persist in prayers for other people. I love that I don’t have to try and do it on my own; instead I can go before God and ask him to do it in and through me! It is such a relief to know that I can rest in him. What a mighty, loving and grace-filled God I get to serve!

Resting

I have learned a lot about resting over the past month. For most of my life I have struggled with what it looks like rest and then to actually do it. I tend to find my value in what I do and honestly I really like accomplishing tasks as well as staying busy. I have always seen resting as something that people do but it really never quite fit into my schedule. I always felt that the things I had to do and my schedule was more important than that. I have seen the things I do as dependent upon me and my completely it. I know this is not a good thing. I know our bodies need rest but I really have struggled to actually take the time to do it.

Lucky for me, I married a man who is really good at resting. Chris has this amazing ability to put things aside and take a break. Even when his schedule is busy and there is lots going on he finds time to stop. I have been amazed at his ability to do this. I always viewed the task at hand as the most important thing, but my husband sees life as a whole and his well being as well as his relationship with God and others as most important. I love that so much about him! I love that he takes the commandment to rest seriously. He doesn't seem to get caught up in the pressure of this world to do more. He does what he is called to do and then rests when he needs to.

In the very beginning of time, we received the command to rest. As we all know, God created the world in 6 days and then took the 7th day is rest. I mean if the creator of the universe worked for 6 days and rested on the 7th, you would think that we should follow his example. Then when Jesus comes along, we see him many times throughout scripture that he pulled away to spend time with God, to rest.

I am learning slowly the importance and value of rest. I am learning what is looks like to take the commandment of having a Sabbath day. I have been reading a book on rest by Mark Buchanan. He talks about how we are called to take an actual day of rest but that resting is also a state of mind. That through our relationship with God, we are able to approach each day in a state of rest. When I think about this, I see how amazing this would be. In Hebrews 10, it describes how Jesus as our High Priest had offered himself as the ultimate sacrifice and is now SITTING at Gods right hand. He did the ultimate work and is now resting. What hope and peace we can find in this. We dont have to work to gain the approval of others or to be seen as valuable. We can actually REST. We still do the work we have been called to do but we do it in the state of REST. We give it all to God. Like the verse in Matthew, we give him our yoke and take his yoke, which is easy and light. I am still learning....

Matthew 11:28-29 “…Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” 

The Art of Waiting

Since being in Boston, I feel like we have been waiting.We have been waiting for school to start, waiting to make friends, waiting to finish raising our support, and waiting for life to seem normal. I am not good at waiting. I dont like it all. I want things to be the way that I envision them to be and I want it to happen now. But what I have discovered is that in the midst of all the waiting, is that God has something special for us. I tend to miss the importance of waiting because I reject it at every turn. I try and run through the periods in my life where I am waiting. God has been gracious to allow me to see that the waiting period is not necessarily waiting, it is life, it is season of time. It is not one to run from or get angry about or complain about. It is a time to embrace, to rejoice and be excited about. I am reminded that if I am not careful I could miss this special time with God.

Waiting is an active time. It is a time of expectations and a time of excitement. It is time where we run to God and rely on Him like no other. I vividly remember periods in my life where I felt like all I was doing was waiting. I was waiting for God to come through, to provide somehow, for things to be different. As difficult as those time were, there were also some of the sweetest times with God. I had to trust in ways that I never imagined. He became everything to me. I would read scripture and would come alive, there was a need that only he could meet.

I think back to Moses and him traveling with all the Israelites in the desert. How often they were annoyed and frustrated with where they were. They wanted the promise land, they wanted to be in the place where God had promised them. I find myself relating to the Israelites. I can get anxious and complain. I can become frustrated with where we are but then I am reminded that these periods are special, they are times were we experience God in ways that we never could of imagined. The Israelites saw God provide in ways that they couldn't help but acknowledge Him and his power! Seasons of waiting tend to be those times when every comfort and effort is stripped from you and all you are left to rely on is God. How difficult but sweet that is, to experience God in those ways.

Like I said, we are waiting. We are waiting for things to start, relationships to be made and for things to seem normal. Currently though, instead of complaining, I find myself at peace. Instead of getting anxious and fearful of how it will work out, I am resting in the my Saviors arms. I am excited about the period of life God has us in. I am excited for our future! I rest assured of God's promises. I trust in God who is good and knows what is best!

"Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness

while I am here in the land of the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.

Be brave and courageous.

Yes, wait patiently for the Lord."

 -Psalm 27:13-14

God Reveals

In the journey to a new city, you learn lots about yourself. Moving is never easy on anyone. It seems to  amplify those areas in your life that you tended to try and control. In essence, God reveals the idols in your life and let me tell you, it is never a fun thing. As you might remember from previous post, I love control. I like to know that everything is going to be ok and that it will all work. It would appear that God really wants me to understand this concept that I am never really in control. That clinging to the idol of security, control, money and safety will get me nothing. Through the last couple of weeks, God has been gracious to help me understand that I cling to my idols instead of Him. He is wanting me to be free from them and be able to claim that HE ALONE is the BLESSED CONTROLLER OF ALL THINGS.

Since arriving up to Boston, everything seems to be just a little harder than we thought. The process of getting settled into our new home has not been the easiest and I feel like at every turn there just one more thing that we didnt think of or one more thing we have to do. BUT in the process of it all, God has been faithful. I have been reading through, Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I tend to be a person that focuses on everything that doesn't work out, the failures and my fears. But in reading the book and scripture, I am reminded of Philippians 4:4-9:

" Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."

I realize that I am called to rejoice in everything. To rejoice when things are hard and when they dont go the way that I want. I am called to not be anxious, to trust in the God, the blessed controller of all things. I am to dwell on the truth and not on the things that could happen. I am to praise God for who is, faithful, trustworthy, gracious and constant. 

So in the midst of all the craziness of moving. In the whirlwind of life as I know it right now, I am learning to choose to cling to cross where God demonstrated how much he loved me. I am clinging to the promise that God will never leave me nor forsake me. God is the one that is in control and slowly but surely I am able to allow this truth to move from my head down to my heart!

We have arrived

We are officially living in Boston, well South Hamilton, but close enough! We got up to Massachusetts  almost 2 weeks ago. It is crazy to think that this is our home now! We are slowly adjusting to life in the Northeast.

 As each day passes, we are slowly discovering the difference in life up here. 

Here are some of them:

    1)  We got our drivers license last week. The DMV is actually called the RMV here and it was located in the mall.

     2)  The highways have no lane to merge onto, so when you are coming up on the highway, you have to slow down to make sure there are no cars, then slam on the gas to quickly jump up to 60 mph.

     3) Most gas stations are full service, which means they pump your gas for you. 

     4) There is only ONE Starbucks close to us hundreds of Dunkin Donuts!

I will continue throughout the year telling you of the differences so you can experience life with us! 

For all you those wondering, here are some pics of our dorm apartment. We are learning to like it. It has lots of space that we love, it is cheap and Chris can walk to class. Some downfalls, no dishwasher and no washer and dryer. I did just discover the garbage disposal last night which I was beyond happy about!

My pinterest/friend inspired project. Thanks Robin Johnsey and Caitlyn Joiner!

 Not everything we own could fit into the cabinets- we have less room in the kitchen, so we make it work with extra shelving units!

 Our coffee section- the coffe maker is on the other side of the sink!

Lots more decorating needed on the walls- this is just the beginning. 

Bookcase in the bedroom. More work is needed!

The closest. It is small :( I have stored all winter things up in the attic of the building. 

The Seminary :) 

Heres to the beginning of a new life in the Northeast!!!

Losing control

For most of those that know me, I enjoy being in control. I like knowing what to expect and I enjoy having a plan. I like thinking through possible hiccups and seeing holes in plans. I like to be prepared. At times this can be a great thing but often times it can lead to frustration. Because what I know to be true is that as much as I would like to be in control, I am NOT. I have never been in control, it is always an illusion. I cant predict the future, I cant always figure out the unknown. As much as I do plan, it seems to change or not go exactly as planned. I am learning lots about control and how God wants me to rest in Him. You see, God is the one who is in control. He is the one who can see the whole picture. He knows how things will pan out and he always does what is best. 


Today things did not go as plan. You see, today we were suppose to pack all our stuff up in a moving van that a friend was going to drive up to Boston for us. It was a huge blessing and massive savings for us. Throughout the day today, it began to look like we were not going to be able to put our stuff on the van and were going to have to figure out something else. We were in limbo for most of the day. I have been trying to rest in the fact that God is in control and I am not. Trying to remember that He knows how this will all will happen. I have to be honest though that I dont do it well. I get frustrated and question why things did not go as planned. It sucks at times and hurts. But luckily I have a wonderful husband that reminds me the truth about God. He reminds me that God cares deeply for us and if things dont work out with the moving van, it is because there is something better for us. 


As of tonight, we dont have anything set in stone as for how we will move our stuff up to Boston. The plan is leave on Wednesday and arrive in Boston on friday. That is what I want to happen! But I resting in the truth that God knows how it will all happen! I am grateful to be in a position where God will show off his power! He has brought me to a point where I am trusting in Him and relying on Him for whatever may happen. I am not in control- HE IS! I have to be continually reminded of that truth! I serve a God who is not only adores me and showers me with His love, but has the ability to do anything!!

"I think I will go to Boston"

The boxes have begun to be filled.

The goodbyes have started.

We are moving in 13 days to Boston...CRAZY!!!

We are actually moving. I always knew that when we got married that we would be moving somewhere. Chris has always wanted to finish his Masters and I love adventure, so Boston it is. I am a florida girl and the thought of moving up to Boston is a little daunting, but I am excited!

We will pack all our stuff up, load it up in uhaul and move up. Chris will start classes in September at Gordon Conwell and I will start working with the Boston SV team. He will be pursuing his Masters in Divinity in hopes of either teaching, planting a church, joining staff with CRU or whatever else God may have planned. The first year we will live on campus in apartments- woohoo :) I am actually a little excited about it. I love the thought of living in community with others that are doing the same thing for a season of life!

Along with all the excitement, I am a sad to be leaving. Atlanta was my first adventure after college. I moved up here with a carload of things and a new job. The last 5 years have changed me and I have learned more than I ever could of imagined. I am grateful for the adventures, life lessons and experiences I have had. I will miss it more than I can put into words...

Top 5 things Atlanta has brought/taught me:

5) I learned that I still love the game of soccer. I have loved getting to coach at the high school and see how God can use soccer for His glory.

4) My first ministry assignment...SV North Fulton. I have had a different team each year I have been here and through each one, I have learned so much and had so much fun. I have seen God move in the hearts of students and change kids lives. As I sit and think, I am amazed at God's faithfulness to pursue his children and show them His love!

3) God is in control and know what is best for me- I am stil learning this now :)

2) The bestest friends that anyone could have! They have brought joy and laughter and encouragement in my life! I have had endless adventures. Oh how I will miss our deep conversations over coffee and getting to pray for each other and try new things!

1) I found my loving husband here :) We are coming up on 9 months of marriage in August and it is AWESOME! I could never have imagined that I would meet my husband in Alpharetta, GA. Once again, God surprised me with Chris as a sweet blessing and gift to me!

The New Life

A week ago, I was just finishing up our weeklong summer conference, Getaway. The week seems to always be a life changing time for students. God has been gracious and shown up and worked in the lives of students. This year, I was in charge of the program. I love getting to create space for students to meet with God. We had lots of high energy crazy stuff, worship, and speakers. But one of the my favorite things was what we did on Wednesday night. We slowed things down a little bit and allowed students to reflect on what God had been saying to them all week. The room was low lighted with tea lights on the stage. We gave them scripture to meditate on and had the band playing old hymns in the background. Each student had an index card and given the freedom to write whatever was on their heart. In the back of the room, we had strings hanging from the ceiling and clothes pins attached to it. Within a few minutes of the night starting, the cards began to fill up the strings. The students poured out their hearts to God and shared with such honesty and vulnerability. I was amazed as I read through what some of them wrote. God was speaking clearly to the students and they were listening to Him. We serve such an awesome God.

The very last night, we had the students respond one more time. The theme for the week was 'New'. We used the verse in 2 Corninthians 5:17- "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life has gone; a new life has begun" We asked the students to think of one word that described their old self and come up and write it on a black card. As we assembled the board, you began to see that 'NEW' was written in large writing with the cards. It was once again a reminder to the students that their old life is gone, and in Christ they are NEW! It is only in Christ that they are able to live the way that he has called them to live! They are no longer slaves to sin, but sons and daughters of the King!

Our lives as of lately

I thought in January when I started this blog, that I would be consistent at posting. Unfortunately, life became extremely busy and things got pushed to the side. But I can say now that things have finally slowed down some. We are officially in summer mode and I LOVE IT!! We are enjoying the slower pace of life and actually getting to hang out with other people :)

This is what has consumed our last couple of months...

FASTBREAK w/ my sweet senior small group! I will miss these girls next year!                                 

Mama Dayle's 60th bday bash! We all flew to Orlando to surprise her and then threw her a massive surprise party :)

     

We attended a couple of weddings for friends! Matt and Nikki got married in Atlanta and then Mandy and Jose got married in Hilton Head, SC.

                      

Over spring break we went to Estonia with SV! The trip was unbelievable! We took 18 students and 6 staff with us. The kids shared their faith and built some great relationship with the other students. 

We spent most of the spring coaching soccer and we loved it! The girls made it to playoffs this year and had a great season! It was one of the most enjoyable seasons that I have gotten to coach so far!

TIFFANY AND RAMSAY GOT MARRIED :) 

The bachelorette party @ OPAs. It consisted of lots of napkin throwing and dancing on tables!

My handsome husband and I

The bridesmaids and the beautiful bride

The wonderful couple exiting for the night! It was a magical night. I have never seen such a happy couple and so excited to get married! It was beautiful!

That has been our lives! Stay tuned for many more updates and more consistent posts :) 

Remembering Haiti

Today is the two year anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti. I was blessed with the opportunity to go down to Haiti the summer after the quake. It was one of the most life changing trips that I have ever been on. I have gotten to travel quite a bit over my lifetime and usually by the end of the trip, I am ready to come home. With my trip to Haiti, I wanted to stay. When I got back to America, I only wanted to go back. I left a piece of my heart there. I hope one day that I get to go back. I miss the people. They had more joy than I have ever seen and yet they had absolutely nothing. I could say lots about Haiti but I believe that pictures can say more than words....

Precious children in one of the IDP camps (internally displaced people)

The streets were still covered with debris- there is not a lot of equipment available to comeclean it up.

Distributing food at an IDP camp! It was a little intense at times!

College students we got to work with throughout the summer

Morning routine- LOVED IT!!!

LOVE.

Our translator and friends- Denis!

Human Trafficking

Today is Human Trafficking Awareness Day! I love that this is now something that is more public! About 6 years ago, I started learning about human trafficking and instantly my heart was broken. It floored me that there were people who werebeing sold. I live in a world that I am free to do what I want, free to be me, free to take risks, to try new things and to go where I want. To think that there are people that at this moment who dont have that freedoms that I have is awful. It is hard to think about because the problem is huge. There are mass amounts of people who are enslaved and at times it seems overwhelming. But to stay neutral is actually making a choice. The more people become aware for this, the better we are to fight it. I am confident of this, the only way we will see change is if God shows up! To fight human trafficking without the gospel is to only solve half the problem. People need to know that healing and hope can be found in Christ. He is the one who saves, he is the one who redeems and makes all things new! I need to become more diligent about praying and going before the Lord and asking him to move!!

A New Beginning

With everything changing in my life, I decided to embark on the world of blogging. The whole world of blogs has always scared me a little bit and mostly because my writing skills are quite awful. I had my mother edit my papers through college and if I am honest, I will still send her stuff to look over. But, it is a new year and chance to do new things. The last year has consisted of lots of new things and I have a feeling the next couple of years will only bring more! To catch you up on the new things, here they are....

Newly engaged this year...then

Newly married to this handsome fella (I am one lucky girl)

New Job- well new role- Interim City Director of Student Venture

We get to all work with high school students in wonderful north atlanta. This is our staff team that is on the field working right now, we have 3 more joining us soon!

New Apartment (with new husband of course :)

There is just a few of the new things in my life this past year, there are many more to share! Hope you enjoy!!